Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I'm hiding out.

I'm sitting in the kitchen, with my window shades down and my doors locked up tight. The raging mob My neighbors are out there, waiting. If they can catch me, I know what's going to happen...

...they're going to drag me out by my hair, throw me behind my lawnmower, and make me cut down my thriving dandelion patch.

I can only assume that's what's going to happen, of course. But I'd say it was a safe guess. After all, despite the fierce heat and humidity, the angry gang my neighbors have managed to keep their lawns green and nicely trimmed.

My lawn, however, is a drought-burned eyesore with an army of dry, two-foot tall dandelion stalks. 

I really should have mowed last weekend, but I barely made it through the 80-plus degree weather. Combine that with the devil's own humidity,and it should be no wonder that I've done little more than give the whole mess a pained glance as I pass from the car to the house after work. 

I'm really not being a curmudgeon; it's just that I'm plain worn out by the heat. Last night and tonight, I fully intended to mow, but there were downpours during commuting hours both nights. Tomorrow, I've got a meeting (you know, "a meeting...")after work, so I guess I won't be doing anything about this debacle until the weekend.
Which means the horde of irate nice neighbors are waiting.

(This is all a joke -- my neighbors are lovely, and goodness knows how they put up with the old lady who destroys the value of their properties!)

Edit:  I mowed last night. I wish I could say that the cars driving by beeped their horns or that the entire neighborhood did the wave. I would have really, really  liked a slow clap on the last lap a la Cool Runnings or Strictly Ballroom.  But, noooo. No one gave me any love. On the other hand, now my lawn looks like the other lawns. Brown.

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